A simpler biography
This ASD-STE100 summary is a draft. Dictionary and editorial review remain open.
Mark Kelly was born on February 21, 1964, in Orange, New Jersey. Kelly became a naval aviator in December 1987. During Operation Desert Storm, Kelly flew 39 combat missions.
NASA selected Kelly and his twin brother Scott Kelly as Space Shuttle pilots in 1996. Kelly was pilot of STS-108 in 2001 and pilot of STS-121 in 2006. He commanded STS-124 in 2008 and STS-134 in 2011.
A person shot Kelly's wife, Gabby Giffords, in an assassination attempt on January 8, 2011. On June 21, 2011, Kelly announced his retirement from the Navy and NASA, effective October 1. In January 2013, Kelly and Giffords started the political action committee Americans for Responsible Solutions.
The Associated Press called the 2020 Arizona special election for Kelly on November 4, 2020. Kelly won the 2020 election and was sworn in as senator on December 2. Voters reelected Kelly in 2022, and he defeated Republican nominee Blake Masters.
Wikipedia contributors, Mark Kelly, revision 1378502537. https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?oldid=1378502537. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/ . Prose extracted; summary is an adaptation. Identity matched by dataset Wikipedia identifier.
Imported Wikipedia revision ↗Eleven fictional viewpoints
These descriptions are fictional satire, not quotations or evidence of political beliefs or affiliations.
01 Wall Street Big Money Financier
Desk Invents the Sortie, Cannot Net It Against Lunch
Our desk has converted the fact that Kelly flew 39 combat missions into a house unit, the Sortie, defined as one landing without a restated footnote. Thirty-nine Sorties exceeds the lifetime total of our syndication calls that ended on time. Municipal desks wish to price it, but the unit cannot be netted against a bonus, a lunch, or anyone's memory of the second quarter.
02 Silicon Valley / San Francisco Ivy League AI Founder
Launch Pad 39A Reports Its Own Impact Radius
Appraisal: after liftoff, inspectors found bricks and mortar from the pad's base thrown as far as the perimeter fence, 1,500 feet away. That is a launch with a measured blast radius, confirmed by third parties holding tape measures. My last launch reached, by my own report, 'viral in spirit.' Rating: traceable. Concern: the fence. I have never shipped anything that found one.
03 Venture Capital
Follow-On Eligibility Form, Line 7: Two Commands
FOLLOW-ON ELIGIBILITY FORM. Line 7, prior leadership: he commanded STS-124 in 2008 and STS-134 in 2011. Reviewer, note two separate commands, three years apart, and no bridge note between them. Line 8: Explain why our founders call a single launch 'Series A, but also the whole mission.' Line 9: Reserved for the partner who calls every second command a 'pivot to scale.'
04 Institutional Investors
Trustees Debate Printing a Fraction on the Cover
The chair slides over a children's book, Mousetronaut, subtitled Based on a (Partially) True Story. 'Finally,' says Trustee Okafor, 'a disclosure with a hedge in the title.' The committee votes to stamp every performance report the same way. Then comes the question of the numerator. The secretary writes 'partially' in the minutes, and the actuary asks, quietly, for a decimal.
05 Data Center Operators
Spare Part Rides Up With the Laboratory
Step 1: Read that Discovery delivered a replacement part for the station's toilet, which had malfunctioned for a week. Step 2: Admire that it shipped alongside a laboratory module instead of waiting for its own purchase order. Step 3: Check your chilled-water pump spare, now fourteen weeks from a warehouse. Step 4: Under 'emergency contact' enter 'plumber,' and watch procurement ask which approved vendor list he flew in on.
06 Frontier Lab
Why Do Our Twin Checkpoints Only Meet in Grading?
If STS-134 was set to reach the station during his twin's stay, why do our two near-identical checkpoints meet only when one grades the other? Who picks the reviewer twin? Most of the mission's delays were caused by external tank issues elsewhere, so is our delay of independent review, blamed on someone else's hardware, also a kind of rendezvous?
07 Chinese Communist Party
Committee Orders Molded Seat-Liners After Orbital Crew Swap
Residency ended, we read, when custom Soyuz seat-liners were transferred to Endeavour: succession proved by upholstery, not by speeches. Inspired, the committee ordered molded liners for every chair in the standing room. Only later did we notice that ours never travel. Each has hardened around one occupant's shape, so successors are not fitted to the chair; they are advised to adjust.
08 American Union Worker
Footnote Asks Paid Status for the Treadmill Repair
Mission managers extended the flight to 12 days so the crew could assist with work on a treadmill and replacing a failed compressor in one of the air conditioners.¹ ¹ Our steward notes the extension named a number of days, listed the tasks, and left nobody guessing. Here 'extended' arrives unnumbered at 2:55 p.m. Request: file the treadmill under maintenance, not wellness, and post a day count by the time clock.
09 White Collar Professional in an AI-Threatened Group
The Newcomer Arrived With the Part; I Got the Wrench
When Discovery docked, the visitor carried the part and cracked the joke: "looking for a plumber?" Reversal at my office: the new assistant arrives as guest of honor, I am the one who patched its leaking reports all week, and my reward is a title change. Plumber. The assistant keeps the laboratory module; my queue is labeled Toilet.
10 American STEM Worker Over 45
Portal Enrolls Me in a Returnship Cohort
The portal read that STS-121 was the second "Return to Flight" mission and enrolled me in a returnship. Congratulations arrived by email, plus a buddy twenty-six years younger who asked me to explain what a modem was. I have not left this job since 1998. The system simply filed my continuous employment under 'planning to return.'
11 American STEM Graduate Five Years Out of College (Not Ivy League)
Memo: Acronym Stabilization Delays Your Salary Band
MEMO. RE: Starting things. Kelly and Giffords started the political action committee Americans for Responsible Solutions in January 2013 and it was abbreviated to ARS without a rebranding sprint. Our requisition, Associate, Responsible Solutions, has been renamed four times since you graduated. Please acknowledge. Salary band: to be announced once the acronym stabilizes.